Underhand Tactics

My school had no moral mortar holding all its crumbling bricks together. They were far intent on results to care so much about how they achieved them. That usually meant one of two things: raise exam grades, or raise money.   French department: The French department was suffering; grades were low and popularity had dramatically…

Sweat shop interpreter

I love studying languages. Back at school I took as many as I could get my hands on. Spanish, French, German, Japanese. At university this list only increased further. I was one of only two students who was fascinated with language learning, and that put us both in a precarious position. You see, you don’t…

A cool night’s sleep: part 2

Sleep is a curious thing. There are so many things preferable to it and yet while we’re actually in the middle of it, we dread being pulled away from it. I’m sure you’d rather watch just one more episode of game of thrones before you switch off the light, or finish off that chapter of…

A cool night’s sleep: part 1

Japan is hot in summer. I cannot stress that enough without melting into a puddle of self-defeat. The humidity makes the heat unbearable in ways you cannot imagine if you’ve not experienced it before. If you were wearing a winter coat in the Sahara, next to a couple of roaring ovens, while drinking a piping…

Ronin Teacher

On the last day of March, the King had fallen. The emptiness was deafening in the wake of the coup. The children were abandoned, teachers were lost and every servant waited in fear for the inevitable plunge into the ensuing turmoil. The king had been toppled.   More than seven years of loyal service to…

Righteous motives

Faith is something some of you have, some of you don’t and most of you would rather avoid talking about. It’s very much similar to the chance of getting a broken egg at breakfast; some of you will have it, some won’t, and when you picture your mother’s rage over how hard she works for…

Phonetic Workout

Have you ever tripped over your own tongue? It sits inside your mouth and swells like a cancerous growth and threatens to spill out on the floor if you dare part your lips. But eventually you’ll speak, and that bulging blood pack will bounce dangerously behind your teeth compromising every sound you make. It’s too…

Purity in White

Capoeira is far more cultural than most sports. Before the legions of football and baseball hooligans charge me with their pitchforks and lynch me, allow me to explain. It may not reach many people outside of Brazil, but it comes a long list of etiquette you need to adhere to, as well having very strong…

Stunt Cyclist

My name is Poncho and I am writing to you to apply for the stunt cyclist position advertised on your website wwww.areyouserious.com. Please find below my personal statement, references and skill set.   Personal Statement   The ability to leap out of harm’s way is a particularly desired skill. It requires fast reflexes, agility and…

Lateral and Literal Thinkers

I was a very literal child. All the best children are. The world is black and white, and there’s always a simple answer to every problem. It’s not until you grow older that you begin to understand the complexity of the world and enjoy the depression that walks hand in hand with adulthood. It’s always…