The Joy to Destroy

I hold myself to a high standard on a variety of things, some which others may be less inclined by. I am not satisfied unless my signature joins perfectly when I write, and will endeavour to cross out and retry if it’s not quite right (this at times can be a little suspicious whenever I’m…

Academic Circus

My school liked nothing better than impressing parents. Showing off at any given opportunity. the school’s precious reputation was at stake you see (and for a school that accepted sixth form students with as few as only five GCSE’s at C grade, that’s so important. For those unfamiliar with the British system, your average person…

Zombie make-up tutorial

I’ve had few major injuries in my lifetime (plenty of minor ones though. Ever since I was a child I’ve been a human pinball. You might be surprised to hear it’s not as fun as actual pinball). But there was one that left its scars on me, and not the cool battle-hardened scars you hope…

Arms race

Everyone at one point or another goes through a phase of some kind. Some whim that mutates into a minor obsession, whether it’s fuelled by delusion or the pursuit of being ‘cool’. Usually they’re fairly harmless; you lose a little bit of time, a little bit of money and a pinch of self respect every time…

Underhand Tactics

My school had no moral mortar holding all its crumbling bricks together. They were far intent on results to care so much about how they achieved them. That usually meant one of two things: raise exam grades, or raise money.   French department: The French department was suffering; grades were low and popularity had dramatically…

Sweat shop interpreter

I love studying languages. Back at school I took as many as I could get my hands on. Spanish, French, German, Japanese. At university this list only increased further. I was one of only two students who was fascinated with language learning, and that put us both in a precarious position. You see, you don’t…

Righteous motives

Faith is something some of you have, some of you don’t and most of you would rather avoid talking about. It’s very much similar to the chance of getting a broken egg at breakfast; some of you will have it, some won’t, and when you picture your mother’s rage over how hard she works for…

Phonetic Workout

Have you ever tripped over your own tongue? It sits inside your mouth and swells like a cancerous growth and threatens to spill out on the floor if you dare part your lips. But eventually you’ll speak, and that bulging blood pack will bounce dangerously behind your teeth compromising every sound you make. It’s too…

Stunt Cyclist

My name is Poncho and I am writing to you to apply for the stunt cyclist position advertised on your website wwww.areyouserious.com. Please find below my personal statement, references and skill set.   Personal Statement   The ability to leap out of harm’s way is a particularly desired skill. It requires fast reflexes, agility and…

Lateral and Literal Thinkers

I was a very literal child. All the best children are. The world is black and white, and there’s always a simple answer to every problem. It’s not until you grow older that you begin to understand the complexity of the world and enjoy the depression that walks hand in hand with adulthood. It’s always…

Acrophobia

I have a poor history with heights; I have an unfortunate tendency to fall from them. So my acrophobia is not irrational in the slightest, despite what everyone might tell you. As someone who has flown through the air and bounced off the floor on multiple occasions, I can assure you some pain is involved….